Last night I took to Facebook and shared how I was feeling. I felt it was only right to share it with the fans and supporters of The MACK Report. I really appreciate all of you, and even though this post is my very true feelings; know I haven't given up. I just had to get it out. Thank you for rocking out with me. - Mack
12-14-2013 Post From Facebook:
I have moments of happiness, but I haven't been truly happy in a long time. There are many reasons why. Some are my own fault, but at the heart of it all is my son. I really miss him. I haven't hugged him in so long I hurt constantly. I try to fill that void with all the things I can find to distract my mind from my pain, but it doesn't work. I used to pray, but it didn't work. I'm just being honest. The God I was taught to love has never ever talked back to me. I've never heard his voice. All I ever heard is myself. And 99% of the time...that's all I feel like I have. And while that's not entirely true because I have some amazing family members and great people in my corner, they can't fill my emptiness. My mind and my heart are heavy. I don't expect you to understand, or to have the answers. I was just tired of holding that inside. If you ever wonder what is wrong with me, why I'm an asshole at times, why I turn cold, I don't come out to parties or events, or you don't see or hear from me...now you know why. I apologize to the people who feel like I haven't been a good friend lately. When I'm not busy grinding and trying to find ways to change my situation, and the lives of those I care about situations, this is all that's on my mind. Sometimes I need love. Other times I can't take it. So if I've fell off in our dealings this is why. It's not you. It's me. If I love you I love you. That hasn't changed, and it won't unless you change it. I'm still me. I just have to fix me. I'm gone and broken in certain places. Still looking for some of my pieces while not trying to lose the others. I wish I could say I ain't worried about nothing...but it wouldn't be real. I'm worried about some things.
Those were my thoughts. My true thoughts. - Mack
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